I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
