Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
