It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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