i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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