He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
