Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
