i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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