I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
