I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
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Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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