i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
