I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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