if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
