They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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