I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Pooping to opera.
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