She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
