i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
