Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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