i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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