Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You can't motorboat a personality

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  (602): You can't motorboat a personality http://tfl.nu/gveo
  Replies (18) Good night (1511) Bad night (2380)
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  (415): View more from California

  fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

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  (415): fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/i9c0
  Replies (22) Good night (3402) Bad night (825)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..

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  (641): i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door.. http://tfl.nu/c547
  Replies (20) Good night (740) Bad night (4450)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard

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  (240): taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard http://tfl.nu/hbi3
  Replies (36) Good night (8918) Bad night (801)
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  (408): View more from California

  Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it

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  (408): Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it http://tfl.nu/ddbo
  Replies (13) Good night (1668) Bad night (4890)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?

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  (361): I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about? http://tfl.nu/lnao
  Replies (15) Good night (4556) Bad night (1424)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

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  (734): It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free http://tfl.nu/3j31
  Replies (8) Good night (4581) Bad night (1664)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.

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  (814): I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that. http://tfl.nu/oxuc
  Replies (3) Good night (1584) Bad night (854)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.

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  (732): Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help. http://tfl.nu/m3q1
  Replies (6) Good night (2173) Bad night (821)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.

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  (815): I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good. http://tfl.nu/gzj9
  Replies (6) Good night (617) Bad night (1034)
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  (209): View more from California

  I will pee on everything he values.

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  (209): I will pee on everything he values. http://tfl.nu/vmpd
  Replies (8) Good night (1389) Bad night (745)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.

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  (253): it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting. http://tfl.nu/k4ds
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (484)
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  (707): View more from California

  He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.

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  (707): He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/bl7f
  Replies (6) Good night (422) Bad night (1747)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Sex is clearly the solution either way.

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  (608): Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored. (1-608): Sex is clearly the solution either way. http://tfl.nu/07hm
  Replies (2) Good night (1321) Bad night (521)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  That's a really terrible idea.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input

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  (803): That's a really terrible idea. (734): Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input http://tfl.nu/jp2c
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (141)

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