Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.

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  (312): Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story. http://tfl.nu/ckvj
  Replies (6) Good night (1240) Bad night (454)
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  (516): View more from New York

  All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.

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  (516): All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job. http://tfl.nu/ssdv
  Replies (8) Good night (703) Bad night (3552)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You kept calling me your small dog last night.

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  (201): You kept calling me your small dog last night. http://tfl.nu/02jw
  Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (2863)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.

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  (407): woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over. http://tfl.nu/kn1h
  Replies (11) Good night (659) Bad night (3269)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  K. On the way. I need a drink.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Like a drink drink or like water?

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Have we met?

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  (601): K. On the way. I need a drink. (904): Like a drink drink or like water? (601): Have we met? http://tfl.nu/ckaw
  Replies (10) Good night (6238) Bad night (959)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.

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  (303): But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you. http://tfl.nu/unr3
  Replies (10) Good night (4825) Bad night (927)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.

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  (904): Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do. http://tfl.nu/m59t
  Replies (10) Good night (2137) Bad night (876)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.

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  (732): Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million. http://tfl.nu/4jbr
  Replies (25) Good night (999) Bad night (4124)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Beer Popsicles are better in theory

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  (903): Beer Popsicles are better in theory http://tfl.nu/iyrx
  Replies (9) Good night (2026) Bad night (941)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.

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  (847): there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/7c5f
  Replies (5) Good night (1193) Bad night (586)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!

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  (602): Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both! http://tfl.nu/0dax
  Replies (4) Good night (1342) Bad night (398)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

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  (731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr
  Replies (1) Good night (2133) Bad night (494)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.

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  (940): The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library. http://tfl.nu/9n29
  Replies (12) Good night (949) Bad night (883)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.

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  (306): thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand. http://tfl.nu/959s
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (204)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.

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  (801): My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use. http://tfl.nu/q2pv
  Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (157)

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