i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge