I want to walk on stilts...naked
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams