its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
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sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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