We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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