I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
