8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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