But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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