I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
