arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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