if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
