My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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