please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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