her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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