Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
