dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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