Don't you send me to vm
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
