Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
