I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Someone signed my nipple.
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