The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
