fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
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Reggie can tackle my bush.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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