I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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