I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
