I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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