Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
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They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize