Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
