im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Drake has all the answers
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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