Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
