I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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