yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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