Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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