i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
