you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
