my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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