So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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