Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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