Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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