Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
