remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
