My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
