I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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