i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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