he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
