sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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